Looks Can Be Deceiving

Ever wonder what your clients think of you?  I sometimes do.  Sometimes I talk about it with clients, like when our cultural/racial differences might affect our therapeutic relationship.  Even then sometimes I really wonder.

The other day during our individual session, my client (Asian male in his 60s) says, as he talks about his issues with his wife,

"You and your husband might run into similar problems, but blah blah blah..."

My husband??  As I listened further, it was apparent that he thinks I'm married to an American guy.  I have no idea why he made this assumption.  It wasn't all that important to address so I just let it go.

During group the next day, we were talking about dysfunctional family roles when one group member asked which role best describes me.  As I stopped to think about what to say, another one says,

"You're the chief enabler."

HUH!?  Then the first client says,

"You look really quiet, so maybe if you drink a couple glasses of wine it'll help you open up."

Keep in mind that this is a drug counseling group.

So I guess I give off the impression that I'm quiet.

Several months ago, I had to send one of my clients to a residential program because she continued to test positive.  She was actually transferred from another counselor but something told me I needed to keep a close eye on her.  Sure enough, she tried to cheat on her UA test to no avail.

Later on, a counselor at the residential unit told me that the client angrily shared about me in group.  She said something like the following:

"I thought I could fool her easily, but looks is deceiving.  I got caught right away and she don't mess around."

I think Asians tend to be perceived as being quiet and naive.


But just yesterday, my coworker asked me to test his female client and even after 3 tries in 40 minutes or so, she could not pee.  I tried to comfort her by making small talk but she shushed me because she "felt it coming."  We were all tired of waiting so we decided to have another female counselor test.  She went in one try!!  Did I scare her that much!?  My coworker says to me,

"Usually people pee in their pants when they're scared, but you made it go back in."

........